A. “I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.” — Robert Brault
B. “when a friendship ends…it means it never even started” — Joy Perez
C. “The only thing permanent in life is change” — Markku Seguerra
Hmm…
Perhaps one of the worst sins a person could commit against himself is being the friend-for-life type, at the same time with being a poor judge of character. Item A runs smack into item B and causes a deep gash into a person’s heart. That, or item C rears its ugly head (not refering to the quote itself or the quoter, just the innate truth behind the quote), and the result is no less painful.
Most of the time it’s C. “Change” is one hell of a monster. Change for the better could lead to a better life, but for the worse the frustration and disappointment it causes seem to outweigh the effect of it being a good kind. It’s especially painful when it happens to people, those whom you have accepted into your life, invited into your house, taken into confidence and invested a portion of yourself on. So if you’re the friend-for-life type, get ready to be hit by a big rig squarely on the face. Making a poor character judgment by doing such things with one who turns out to be a “temp” friend could be one of the biggest mistakes you could do in your life.
Each of us has had his share: people lying to you; people easily believing lies about you; people who used to make plans with you but suddenly stop for whatever reason. The friend-for-life type person normally takes such things hard, and who can blame him? Well, one. Himself, for choosing the wrong person for a friend. That’s about all there is, really. When you’re the type who takes friendship seriously, so much that “once a friend, always a friend” is one of your guiding principles, and you make the mistake of opening up to someone who doesn’t feel the same way about you, it sucks. Being dissed by a person you care about always sucks.
That’s why personally, I’m grateful for people like Rachel, Cathy and the Bay Area gang, years-displaced friends who always remember to call me when they’re in the country. Rollee and Oyee, two who remain friends-for-life even if it takes months for us to get a chance to get together. Hana, Mike, Markku, Leia, Charina and the rest of the lunchtime pack and the Iskul Bukol gang for making it a point to get in touch with me when there are plans to go out, even though I’ve already moved to another job. Oh yeah, like I said, we’ve all had our share of “temp” friends, and the not-so-few times I experienced being taken out of the plan by people who used to make plans with me were never easy dealings. But, like most of us, I just had to choke down the frustration and move on. (Like I had any other choice)
Yeah, change is the only thing permanent. But when it happens to people you value, it could be such a bitch…
