Just saying it…

I think it’s safe to say it here since no one reads this blog anyway.

My dad has cancer. Funny, I’ve always felt sorry for people who had expressed that a loved one has cancer. I know it is difficult for them, and my heart always went out for them. But to me it has always been like knowing that a broken bone is painful. I know it is, but I have no idea just how much. I have no graphic description of the pain since I’ve never had my bones broken.

 Now I know. Words can’t describe. Even though my dad and I had never been super-close (I’ve always been closer to my mom), it’s still indescribably hard.

Helpless. Hopeless. Impotent. Alone. Those words seem meaningless next to this.

All other problems seem so inane and insignificant.

And God seems so far away.

I know He’s here. His words say so. My wife says so. But I just couldn’t feel his care and protection right now.

Right now, I feel exposed, unsafe, undefended, and alone. Right now, I feel that my enemies have won.

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quistian

An incorrigible Gen-X cynic who writes too damn much

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