“But I know the rage that drives you. That impossible anger strangling the grief, until the memory of your loved one is just… poison in your veins. And one day, you catch yourself wishing the person you loved had never existed so you’d be spared your pain.”
-Â Henri Ducard (Liam Neeson), Batman Begins, 2005
After my brother died (car crash), my mom introduced me to one of her colleagues at work, a woman who was a little bit older than her.Â Then my mom told meÂ about that colleague of hers, particularly her decision to be emotionally detached from her children.Â Why?Â So that she didn’t have to suffer from the intense grief as my mom (and dad) did as a result of my brother’s death.
Sounds kinda practical.Â Don’t let yourself get emotionally attached to anything and anyone so you’d suffer less pain if you lose them — and you will lose them.Â Squall Leonhart of Final Fantasy VIII had the same idea.Â “I don’t want friends who won’t be around tomorrow”, he said.Â If you don’t plan to stick around, I might as well keep you at arms length.
My mom disagrees.Â Yes, she hurt like hell when she lost her son.Â But according to her, the hurt is still worth it.Â She’d rather go through the painful consequences of loving than to play safe and, in the process, lead a life devoid of the joys of loving.
But you know, sometimes I’m with my mom’s colleague.Â And Squall.
The sting of losing someone is just not worth it.